93 pitches, 60 strikes, 25 batters, 4 groundouts, 9 flyouts. EIGHT BIG PUNCH-OUTS. Best performance of the young season for M.C., and all he gets is another ND. As I listened to the frightening top of the 8th, when the Hurra-Cain suddenly lost it and walked his first batter (on four pitches), then got yanked for an INJURY, I promised Lucifer my soul if Tyler Walker would "hold on" and keep Matt's runner at first from scoring.
The Big Sweaty did the job, and now I'll have to enlist
Dan'l Webster's ghost for my defense. But it was worth it. Here at
RMC, nothing is too great to sacrifice for our boy. We got your back, M.C.! And guess what else I told
Mr. Scratch aka Satan
aka The Hornéd Dude? I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T CARE WHETHER WE WON OR LOST. I TOLD HIM THE "RESULTS" WERE MEANINGLESS TO ME! ALL I CARED ABOUT WAS MATT'S "LINE." That's right, I'm a selfish, egotistical,
barcalounger-lounging cad who doesn't care about the team! {insert maniacal laughter} Go, Matt! You da man!!!!!
(n.b. Phlegm just let us know that M.C. had "tightness," not a serious injury, thank God, or the Devil, or Allah, or The Big Kahuna, or whoever-the-fook's in charge of that department.)
This is the TITAN! Check out Barcalounger.com!
10th inning: Brian Wilson Friday night redux; 1st batter Pat Burrell, a walk, 2nd Geoff Jenkins, a blown DP but got the lead runner, 3rd Carlos Ruiz, K, 4th Eric Bruntlett ground out! A SAVE! A BLOODY SAVE! (See, I do care.)
3 comments:
Brother Bob:
It's truly astonishing how Cain can continue to pitch so well (usually) yet can't get wins. Last night he was truly "studly." I love it when he gets those swing-thru Ks with his high heat. That's the essence of hard ball to me.
Chase Utley's a monster this year, isn't he?
So you gave up what little soul you have left, just to keep one run from scoring!!! Not to keep Matt from being seriously injured, but rather to keep his "line" pretty???? Man, you are far gone.
I LOVE the barcalounger! That should be our icon for any "nongamer" activities that we detect or commit.
The dreaded "L" caused it. Matt's had enough of those.
Indeed, the Barca is the opposite of Gamer. We can give awards, you know, 3 Barcas for a particularly non-gamer performance, or some such.
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