UPDATE: Richie Rises! SOLO HR in the 2nd to make it 1-0 Giants! It's alive! It's alive! I can feel the Holy Spirit today, brothers and sisters. Only the Hand of God could Resurrect Rich. Ort walks. That's right, a Giant earned a "base on balls." Burriss grounds out, but at least it took 5 pitches. Matt Cain manages a 6-pitch swinging K. (M.C. on the hill so far: six up six down on 26 pitches including 2 K's on 96 mph heat.)
UP-UPDATE: Matt gives up a loooong fly ball to Alexei Ramirez. JT Snow (on the radio with Phlegm) compliments our boy for challenging guys with his smoke. He calls him "old school." High praise. AAAArrrrrggghh. Matt WALKS THE PITCHER! An AL guy who never hits (John Danks). But he gets Cabrera. 41 pitches, 10 batters, 9 outs.
UPPITY UPDATE: Ort hits one off the end of the bat to the warning track for the 2nd out in the 4th. Burriss hacks randomly but gets an infield hit with his blazing speed. Excitement plus! Cain K's again to end the "threat."
OH, I HATE TO UPDATE: Almost-Giant Joe Crede hits a solo HR off Matt to tie it up, ruin the no-hitter and the shutout. Looked like a fat pitch--out over the plate. Through five: 18 batters, 68 pitches, 2 hits, 1 run.
OH, I LOVE TO UPDATE THE UPDATE: The stiffs make a run. 2-1 Giants.
OH, JAYSUS, MARY, AND FOOKIN' JOSEPH UPDATE: Matt gives up a solo HR to Cabrera, and AJ Pureshitski gets a damn hit, and now Carlos Quentin brings the hammer down. 4-2 Sox. Here comes Righetti. Now my day is ruined. I'm officially blaming Bengie for "calling a crappy game." On the plus side, Captain Gamer and The Ort-ster make a run, so it is 4-3 bad guys after six. Matt has thrown 95 pitches so I expect he'll get a chance to finish the 7th and that's it.
ORLANDO CABRERA IS A BLEEDIN' GOBSHITE UPDATE: The wheels come off the M.C. wagon. A walk to Thome and another goddamned homerun to the 5'9" 185-lb. leadoff hitter with a.720 lifetime OPS. 6-3 Sox.
In San Francisco on Trinity Sunday: 30 batters faced, 21 outs. 115 pitches. 6 hits. 6 runs. 6 strikeouts. 3 walks. FOUR HOMERUNS. A tale of two Matts: twice through the lineup, total dominance. Third and fourth time: batting practice.
The good news? The stiffs are fighting back! BENGIE ties it up! M.C. is "off the hook." Thank you, Satan. Wow, am I the ballgame prognosticator? Did I make the right lineup call, or what? You wanna go, Bruce? Eh? You wanna go?