Matt Cain wins his first 13 decisions to finally get to .500, then endures 10 straight starts in which the team scores a total of 4 runs.
Barry Zito abandons the curveball and becomes a fastball/split-finger power pitcher. He offers to retire if the team builds him a statue next to Juan Marichal.
Randy Johnson decides to remain a Giant until he's 50 and passes both Clemens and Maddux in wins.
Jonathan Sanchez strikes out one batter every inning every time he pitches.
Tim Lincecum wins the NL Cy Young easily. A Lincecum cult develops nationwide among suburban junior high school boys. They "style" their hair to match Tim and remove their orthodontia. Posses of Timmers, as they are known, organize group ticket buys whenever The Franchise pitches and spend the entire game imitating his pitching motion en masse.
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