Friday, February 15, 2008

Gettin' snarky

Ya gotta love Bengie. He says in today's Comical that HRs ain't such a big deal. Meanwhile he's flashing his-shoulda-been-ours WS ring from '02. "That's not how we rolled," he says. Of course, they had Troy Glaus, Garret Anderson, and Tim Salmon, but they finished 10th in the league in HRs. So HRs weren't important. He neglects to tell you they were 1st in Batting Average, 4th in OBP and 6th in SLG. They were 3rd in 2Bs and 4th in runs scored. To be fair, they were 3rd in everyone's new favorite metric, the stolen base. Bottom line--they had what we lack: BALANCE. Thanks Bengie, love your "warrior spirit" and all, but take your career .279/.309/.411 Pedro Feliz-like line and shove it. (Did I forget to mention the 2002 LAAs were 2nd in the league in ERA and BAA?)


Zo said...

You beat me to it! And if we don't need home runs, probably another thing we don't need is....hits! And if we don't have home runs, and we don't have hits, what will we have (besides awesome pitching)?

When the Giants are found with their chins on the ground,
There's a lot to improve, so just look a-round,
What makes a little old ant,
Think he'll move a rubber tree plant?
Anyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant.
But, he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes,
He's got high apple pie in the sky hopes,
So any time you're low in the standings, instead of letting go,
Just remember that ant!
Whoops, there goes another rubber tree plant.

[Ed note 1: We're talking baseball, not entomology, you idiot!]
[Ed note 2: If a rubber plant is small enough, probably any ant could move it, no big deal. In the future, please give an approximate size reference for rubber plants]
[Ed. note 3: Besides, what is the point? How would moving rubber tree plants help the Giants?]

M.C. O'Connor said...

We got Sammy Cahn here at RMC! Damn! I wonder if the Giants should have put "High Hopes" on those cheesy camo shirts instead of "Feed the Wanker" or whatever it was.

1. If ya can't hit a ball clear of the fences, ya should at least be able to hit a ball that clears the bases. (I like doubles. I do. I can live with lots of doubles if we can't hit homers.)

2. If Bengie hits a single with Davey, Freddie and Rajai on base, they might all be able to score if Bengie runs at his normal "speed" and draws the throw to first.

Ron said...

It is the sure sign that the end of civilization is nigh upon us (or at least that the meaningful end of MLB is nigh upon us) when the Giants resort to wearing camouflage jerseys with childish new slogans on them. Isn't that what the padres do? I liked our 'Gigantes' jerseys much better. Perhaps some new Gigantes jerseys with some mariachi-style embroidery, saying 'Adelante el Gran Equipo de San Francisco' would be a bit more palatable.

Doubles are cool.