and at the worst possible time.
The LAtriners are a good hitting team (4th in OPS, 2nd in runs in the NL) and they know how to make a pitcher work--they've got the most plate appearances and highest OBA in the league. Our starters have to be damn close to perfect in order for us to win, and if they have any sort of bump in the road we are doomed.
Rather than lament our lamentableness, I decided to invent a new statistic. I intend to turn the sabermetric community upside down with this one. It is simple, bloody fookin' simple, and doesn't require anything but Baseball-Reference. And, well, divison. You can do division, right? Or you can put a nerd in an arm bar and force him to do it for you. Hell, you only have to threaten the nerd with a submission hold and he'll do it, am I right? Of course, you could just use a calculator. Or Excel. But that would be sort of nerdy, eh?
Take one Barry Lamar Bonds. Scary guy at the plate. Big BOO. Like "boo" as in "I'm scaring you." You see, Barry had 5,976 total bases in his career. And he made 7,313 outs. That's good. His BOO (bases over outs) is .817. See what I mean? Scary. You want scary? How about Edgar Renteria in 2009? 110 total bases and 291 outs. Ouch! Were talking .378! Well, we won't talk about guys like Randy Winn or Aaron Rowand. How about Pablo Sandoval? 221/280 = .789!! I love my new statistic. Don't you? Think of the fun! Albert Pujols? 266/286 (season) = .930 and 3122/3564 (career) = .876. (Barry's 1993 MVP season was 365/388 or .941, his 2001 MVP season was 411/330 or 1.245!) Finally, OUTS get their proper place in baseball analysis, and you can thank Your Humble Narrator, me. Now get cracking and calculate your favorite player's scariness quotient--his BOO number. High BOO means scary hitter (for the opposing pitcher). Low BOO means scary for the fans of the team that guy is on!
It's a drink-'til-ya-puke sort of evening for Giants fans tonight--cracking the seal on that other fifth will keep you from slitting your wrists (alcohol impairs hand-eye coordination). Tomorrow we can shake off our hangovers and try again. In the meantime, get scary. Get BOO. You'll thank me.
For the record:
The 2009 Giants have 1452 bases over 2963 outs for a .491 BOO.
The 2009 LAtriners have 1616 bases over 3048 outs for a .530 BOO.